Daddy Issues: A tribute to my Daughter (it’s not what you think)

As a veteran youth worker I have long understood the importance of a father who is present for girls. We have all cracked a fair share of daddy issue jokes in high school and college. However, it wasn't until my daughter was born that I really understood the importance of the male presence in a young woman's life, both from a father, and from other men. Enter Sadie, an adorable 10 month old who absolutely adores anyone who happens to have a beard. I seriously think my daughter was genetically programmed to seek out the attention and approval was all patriarchal figures she encounters. You could be a "miserable old cuss", but to my daughter you are wonderful simply for being a grown man.


This is exciting because of all the male role models in my daughter's life, but it is scary at the same time because of the all young woman I know who are not blessed the way Sadie is. This is compounded by the fact that our church safety policies make it almost impossible for me to step into the gap. Our policy states that 2 unrelated adults need to be present when working with a child. This makes relational ministry unrealistic with any gender. Consider the typical gender segregation model that takes place in youth groups. Male leaders invest in male students and female leaders work with female students. I contend that in doing so we miss an opportunity to fill a void in young people's lives.


A woman talking to boys about respecting girls is more powerful than a man talking to them. A man talking to woman about self respect and the message they are sending to the male population when they dress and act a certain way carries more weight than a women discussing the same topic. Perhaps more importantly, breaking down the gender segregation allows the church to stand in the gap and provide the patriarch's so many girls need in order to have a healthy view of themselves and to develop a faith that allows them to be a well-rounded women for Christ.