4 "Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength.6 And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up. Deut 6:4-7 (NLT)
I had a phone conversation with a parent from my church a couple of weeks ago. This parent had some concerns about their soon to be teenage child. During this conversation I learned that though this parent, and their spouse are actively involved in our church's children's ministries, little or nothing is being done in their home throughout the week to reinforce their family's walk with God. I can't help but think that this fact plays some role in the struggles they are having with their child. I also think that many Christian families might tell a similar story if asked.
This individual case highlights a broader discovery from the National Study of Youth and Religion (http://youthandreligion.org/) as highlighted by Dr. Kendra Creasy Dean in her book Almost Christian and her presentation at the 2011 National Youth Workers Convention. According to these studies, to over simplify, youth (at least for the time being) are generally excepting the religious beliefs of their parents. While this is encouraging it presents a problem. The faith that these children are accepting is more of a consumerist, self-help, pseudo-Christianity as opposed to the discipleship that Jesus called his followers to. So, what is a possible answer to this quandary? While Dr. Dean points to an approach to Christian Education that places mission or purpose at its core, I propose a different Christian Education starting point, education to parents.
The above bible passage (the Shema) has long been a credo for advocates of family-centered ministry. The idea behind this movement is that the church should be equipping parents to be the number one spiritual influence in their children's lives. Though this movement was started decades ago, I see little evidence of its impact on families and churches today. So the question arises, how does this ministry idea become a fact of life in the church and among Christian families? How can I better equip parents to be the spiritual heads in their home?
I am convinced that the answer to this question brings the solutions to many of the youth and children's ministry problems plaguing the church today. I do not think the lack of success in this area is caused by a lack of resources (two words…Sticky Faith). I think, rather, that the church needs to do more to engage parents in the faith formation of their child(ren). Apparently offering the occasional parenting class in church is not going to draw parents in. But why are parents so disengaged? Is it because they don't care? I think the answer is more likely that they are scared. They are scared for the same reasons why youth directors are scared to do relational ministry. It's risky; it requires them to be vulnerable. I think that parents relize that their children's faith is "off the mark" because their own faith is. Perhaps parents feel that they need to be the household pastor, theologian and biblical scholar if they are going to be a part of their child's faith development. Perhaps parents feel inadequate.
Just as a good youth worker would assure both her youth group and her volunteers that they don't have to have all the answers to follow Jesus, and to impact others, so too does a good "minister to families" assure parents that they do not have to have all the answers. I think we need to reframe it this way; to be engaged in a child's faith development a parent must simply decide to begin their own faith journey and decide to take their children with them. This is what the Shema Initiative is all about. This is my passion…this is my obsession…this is my calling! I hope that eventually others involved in church ministry will also feel that call.
I had a phone conversation with a parent from my church a couple of weeks ago. This parent had some concerns about their soon to be teenage child. During this conversation I learned that though this parent, and their spouse are actively involved in our church's children's ministries, little or nothing is being done in their home throughout the week to reinforce their family's walk with God. I can't help but think that this fact plays some role in the struggles they are having with their child. I also think that many Christian families might tell a similar story if asked.
This individual case highlights a broader discovery from the National Study of Youth and Religion (http://youthandreligion.org/) as highlighted by Dr. Kendra Creasy Dean in her book Almost Christian and her presentation at the 2011 National Youth Workers Convention. According to these studies, to over simplify, youth (at least for the time being) are generally excepting the religious beliefs of their parents. While this is encouraging it presents a problem. The faith that these children are accepting is more of a consumerist, self-help, pseudo-Christianity as opposed to the discipleship that Jesus called his followers to. So, what is a possible answer to this quandary? While Dr. Dean points to an approach to Christian Education that places mission or purpose at its core, I propose a different Christian Education starting point, education to parents.
The above bible passage (the Shema) has long been a credo for advocates of family-centered ministry. The idea behind this movement is that the church should be equipping parents to be the number one spiritual influence in their children's lives. Though this movement was started decades ago, I see little evidence of its impact on families and churches today. So the question arises, how does this ministry idea become a fact of life in the church and among Christian families? How can I better equip parents to be the spiritual heads in their home?
I am convinced that the answer to this question brings the solutions to many of the youth and children's ministry problems plaguing the church today. I do not think the lack of success in this area is caused by a lack of resources (two words…Sticky Faith). I think, rather, that the church needs to do more to engage parents in the faith formation of their child(ren). Apparently offering the occasional parenting class in church is not going to draw parents in. But why are parents so disengaged? Is it because they don't care? I think the answer is more likely that they are scared. They are scared for the same reasons why youth directors are scared to do relational ministry. It's risky; it requires them to be vulnerable. I think that parents relize that their children's faith is "off the mark" because their own faith is. Perhaps parents feel that they need to be the household pastor, theologian and biblical scholar if they are going to be a part of their child's faith development. Perhaps parents feel inadequate.
Just as a good youth worker would assure both her youth group and her volunteers that they don't have to have all the answers to follow Jesus, and to impact others, so too does a good "minister to families" assure parents that they do not have to have all the answers. I think we need to reframe it this way; to be engaged in a child's faith development a parent must simply decide to begin their own faith journey and decide to take their children with them. This is what the Shema Initiative is all about. This is my passion…this is my obsession…this is my calling! I hope that eventually others involved in church ministry will also feel that call.
When I spoke to Dr. Dave Rahn, professor of youth ministry at Huntington University and staff member at the national Youth for Christ office he told me that in a ministry setting true quantitative research is not possible and that we have to focus on the qualitative. So here is some qualitative evidence of the effectiveness of this Shema approach. In my last post I mentioned a parent concerned about their sixth grade child. This parent admitted that in spite of their spouses and their involvement in teaching Sunday school, no intentional action was taking place in their home for the purpose of faith formation and Christian education. Armed with some new tools and some new motivation these parents committed themselves to making faith formation a daily focus in their home making Lenten commitments as a family and studying the gospel of John together. In a few short weeks this parent has already seen the clear effects stating "I can definitely feel the power of the Holy Spirit in our home".
Consider it this way. A sixth grade student at our church has the opportunity to attend church year round (52 hours) and Sunday school and middle school youth group during the school year (40 hours each). That means that with %100 participation, which won't happen, the church has 132 hours a year with a student. If parents are intentional they can more than double that time formally, not to mention the countless informal hours a parent has to live out the good news for their children. I'm biased, but I think it's pretty clear how this Deuteronomy 6 way of thinking will radically improve that chances of a child becoming a lifelong follower of Jesus Christ. Let's be honest, I think it will have a profound effect on the discipleship of parents as well.
It inevitably happens every time any mention of a family friendly youth model is suggested. The idea is instantly shot down by someone asking "what about the kids whose parents are a part of the church?" This is a small way of thinking. The Shema is so much bigger than "church programming." In fact it may be that becoming a church that embraces the Shema will not change youth programming at all. Besides, isn't it kind of like saying that a church doesn't need to have a youth outreach program because it already has some seekers coming? Youth workers have no problem admitting the absurdity of that. Ignoring the church-going parents of students is just as absurd.
There has been a movement in youth ministry towards intergenerational ministry (which, is different from multigenerational, by the way) and rightly so. I believe, in fact, that intergenerational ministry is the solution to the question "where do un-churched students fit the family ministry model?" It is curious that so many individuals who embrace intergenerational ministry are skeptical of family-centered youth ministry. Wouldn't it make sense that members of a student's "family of faith" might also serve as adoptive family? If anyone has doubts about young people's willingness to accept individuals as adoptive family, I encourage them to read any literature on gang activity ever produced! A sense of belonging to a family is widely believed to be the number one appeal of gangs to youth. Indeed a sense of belonging is huge for most young people.
So then, belonging to the family of faith allows the Shema Initiative to be pertinent for all of our young people. It is important to consider that the Shema (Deuteronomy 6) was originally read to the entire nation of Israel, creating the "it takes a village to raise a child" effect. In the United Methodist tradition, infant baptism represents a covenant made by parents to God to raise their child in the Christian faith (warning: oversimplification). In a baptism ceremony, the members of the church all join the covenant, promising to assist the family in doing so. At no point is the children's and youth staff tasked with this responsibility. In the context of the UMC, The Shema Initiative is simply requiring that parents and church members take that covenant seriously. The Shema Initiative is also asking church members to fill the role of adoptive spiritual parents for those youth who need it. There is nothing unrealistic or ineffective about that!
