Daddy Issues: A tribute to my Daughter (it’s not what you think)

As a veteran youth worker I have long understood the importance of a father who is present for girls. We have all cracked a fair share of daddy issue jokes in high school and college. However, it wasn't until my daughter was born that I really understood the importance of the male presence in a young woman's life, both from a father, and from other men. Enter Sadie, an adorable 10 month old who absolutely adores anyone who happens to have a beard. I seriously think my daughter was genetically programmed to seek out the attention and approval was all patriarchal figures she encounters. You could be a "miserable old cuss", but to my daughter you are wonderful simply for being a grown man.


This is exciting because of all the male role models in my daughter's life, but it is scary at the same time because of the all young woman I know who are not blessed the way Sadie is. This is compounded by the fact that our church safety policies make it almost impossible for me to step into the gap. Our policy states that 2 unrelated adults need to be present when working with a child. This makes relational ministry unrealistic with any gender. Consider the typical gender segregation model that takes place in youth groups. Male leaders invest in male students and female leaders work with female students. I contend that in doing so we miss an opportunity to fill a void in young people's lives.


A woman talking to boys about respecting girls is more powerful than a man talking to them. A man talking to woman about self respect and the message they are sending to the male population when they dress and act a certain way carries more weight than a women discussing the same topic. Perhaps more importantly, breaking down the gender segregation allows the church to stand in the gap and provide the patriarch's so many girls need in order to have a healthy view of themselves and to develop a faith that allows them to be a well-rounded women for Christ.

Why Karl Marx Was Right…Sort of

I often thought Karl Marx didn't need to be pegged as this great villain as many of us "Democrats" tend to view him, really his only fault was putting too much faith in mankind.  I find it rather interesting that a religious community (the early church) was the only community that seems to successfully create the socialist vision that Marx had in mind considering he pegged religion as the villain that stopped fair socialist living from taking place. Forgive the awkward wording, but the basic premise of Marx's view on religion is correct, as an over-simplification. Anyways, as I thought about the historical context for most relationships between government and religion I began to see why Karl Marx saw things the way he did. If one was to view religion (particularly but no solely Christianity) from the angle of social commentary then one would conclude that religion is little more than a tool used by the government to control/persuade its citizens to come on board the ship and set sail.

Much of what I wish to say would simply be repeated and probably wasted breath (or finger energy). So I will conclude with this…Christianity began as, and I believe was meant to me, in conflict with political structures. Yes the bible is clear that the Body of Christ is to coincide with and largely work within the context of political powers, but this is more to combat terrorism (the Jews had their zealots) more than it is a stamp of approval to water down the gospel so that it will fit a democratic political structure. Jesus died a political death because of his political impact. He scared the powers that be, as did the early church. It is sad that today's Church couldn't make a 99 year old atheist politician the slightest bit uneasy, even if its life depended on it.

Belonging before Belief: Turning the Church’s Understanding of “Conversion” on its Head.

Anyone who understands even a little bit about the teenage world can tell you just how paramount belonging is for young people. Insecurity and doubt runs rampant in this "sub-culture." As my wife and I moved securely into adulthood and thus moved further and further away from adolescents we came to a realization. Those scary cool kids who ignored us were just the "flip side" of the same coin. This "too cool for school" kids were really just insecure, scared teenagers themselves. Maybe they didn't ignore us because they thought they were better than us, maybe they were scared and insecure too. Needless to say, students of all kinds are a little too busy trying to belong to worry about whether or not they have the right "belief system."

The American, evangelistic model traditionally begins with the presentation of the gospel. This is immediately followed by a decision. Joining the community of faith is the final step. We can clearly see the problem with this. There is an old youth ministry saying that clearly shows the problem with this evangelistic system; "Kids don't care what you know until they know that you care."

Perhaps America's church's and their youth workers should be a little less worried about whether or not young people believe the right things and more concerned with whether or not they believe that they belong. If students feel that they belong and are accepted at a church and its youth programs, then the seed has been planted. Lord willing, the Holy Spirit will catch hold and make that seed grow. A Christian worldview is crucial for followers of Christ, but it is only possible in a safe environment where students know that they are unconditionally loved. Otherwise we may simply be throwing them "useless pearls" (Matt 7:6)₁

1: See Dallas Willard's interpretation of Matt 7:6 in chapter 7 of Divine Conspiracy (page 228-230).