Love is a Choice: Ode to Valentine's Day.

"The problem with believing in love at first sight is that you never stop looking" - the movie "Alfie."

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. - 1 Cor 13:4-7

I've gotten in a lot of trouble in the past because I don't believe in "the one."  I don't believe that God has one person designated as the right person for them to marry.  I use my tongue as bubble gum every time a divorce is chalked up to, and thus justified by, incompatibility.  What is being said is that, these two were not "the one" for each other.  If it gets hard than this is not the right person for me.  But here's the problem, the "In Love" euphoria we experience early on in a relationship will, according to research, only last about 2 years, REGARDLESS OF WHO IS IN THAT RELATIONSHIP.  The person who is looking for the right person, the person who will always make their heard flutter in that way, will NEVER BE HAPPY.  That person does not exist!  


Love, like many other biblical terms used in our society, has been reduced to feeling.  Love, like many other biblical terms, was always meant to be action, to be a choice.  Love is what you do, not what you feel.  So here is what I believe, the minute you walk down the isle and say "I DO," that person becomes "the one."  It doesn't matter than they snore, that they work too much, that they stink at communicating, this is now your soul mate.  Getting married and starting a family is the hardest thing you will ever do in this life, regardless of who you are doing it with.  It is also, hands down, the most fulfilling.  So this valentines day lets make the decision to love our spouse (or whoever is in your life) and get off this whole "fuzzy  feeling" mumbo jumbo!

I'm Giving Up Control for Lent...

I have mixed feelings about Ash Wednesday and Lent.  I think the liturgical calendar is a wonderful thing for helping us do a better job putting God in the center of our life through its rhythms.  I think intentional preparation should take place as we approach the Lenten season.

All that being said, I do not see how abstaining from chewing bubble gum for 40 days is going to help an individual join Christ in his ministry, death and Resurrection.  It is for this reason that I have joined the camp of additions not subtractions for lent (such as committing to daily scripture reading and prayer/quiet time, journaling to God and etc. during the 40 days of lent).  This year, however, inspired by my partnership with Fuller Youth Institute's Sticky Faith Initiative, I've decided to do something different.

Pisteuo is the greek word that is usually translated as faith.  Faith has become such an abstract impotent word in our culture.  That is why I think it is helpful to replace faith with trust (another acceptable use of pisteuo).  With that in mind then, the idea of having faith in God means that I chose to trust Him in the situations, relationships and struggles of my life.

In lieu of this, I have decided to attempt to give up control for Lent.  I am a control freak, as such, I really suck at trusting God.  So, for the next 40 days I am going to very diligently attempt to give up control of the work challenges, marital struggles and parenting frustrations in my life by handing them over to God, trusting that He can do a better job of dealing with them than I.