Deuteronomy 6:4-5; Mark 12:31b;
Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (NLT)
"Listen, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. 5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. (And 'Love your neighbor as yourself.') And you must commit yourselves wholeheartedly to these commands that I am giving you today.7 Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up.8 Tie them to your hands and wear them on your forehead as reminders.9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." It's a phone conversation that every veteran youth worker has had on multiple occasions. The players change but the story always stays the same. I had on the other line an upset parent who had some serious concerns about their soon to be teenage child. It was not directly said, but there was an implied undertone, a hope that I would be able to step in and do something to remedy the situation. Now, I have to confess that my normal course of action would have been to swoop in like superman and try to fix things in an hour or two…I bet you can guess what kind of success rate I've had with that approach…
But instead, in a moment of uncharacteristic Godly wisdom, I took a different approach. I asked this parent about Christian practices in the home. During this conversation I learned that though this parent, and their spouse were actively involved in the church's children's ministries, little or nothing was being done in their home throughout the week to reinforce their family's walk with God. I couldn't help but think that this fact played some role in the struggles they were having with their child, and I told them so. I think that many families here today might tell a similar story if asked.
We live in a world where parents are encouraged to delegate the responsibility of the development of their children to others. It is now generally expected that the church will take the primary role in forming the faith of children and youth. But is this what God intended? Is this what the bible teaches? Is this what is best for the young people of RUMC?
It seems to me that this passage, known as the Shema, has something very different to say about the faith formation of young people. Let's take a closer look.
The Shema
There are three clear statements that the Shema has to say about Christian discipleship.
First, we must love God with all that we are and with Jesus' amendment in Mark 12:31 we must also love the people around us. If we were to flip back a chapter to
Deuteronomy 5, we would see that the commands given to the people of Israel were the Ten Commandments. It's interesting; the first 4 commands address how we are to love God, and the final six addresses how we are to love our neighbor. Perhaps they are one set of commands because we cannot love God as we should without loving are fellow brothers and sisters as He has instructed us.
The second statement made about following God is that is an all day, everyday affair. The things of God are to be with us morning, noon and night. It is not enough to come to church for an hour on Sunday to get our weekly "God-fix."
And finally, passing on the faith to the next generation must come in the same manor. We must bring our children into contact with the things of God again and again, day after day. A one hour a week Sunday school class is not enough in itself to foster a lifelong relationship between a child and the Savior. This means that Pastor Riley, Michael Walden and I can't be the sole, or probably even the primary adults concerned with the faith formation of our young people.
I know this seems like a radical statement. This might sound different than how we understand passing on the faith to children. After all, this isn't what our church has taught…or is it? Let's consider our Infant Baptism vows:
Of course these vows begin with what the staff at Rockford United Methodist Church will do to raise a child in the faith, right? They don't! How do they begin? Let's take a look (Slide is brought up).
- Dad and Mom, do you in presenting your child for Holy Baptism, confess your faith in our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ? If so, say, "I do."
- Do you, therefore, accept as your great responsibility and privilege to live before your child, a life that is Christ-like; to exercise all Godly care that he or she be brought up in the Christian faith; that he or she be taught the Holy Scriptures; and that he or she learn the importance of both the private and public worship of God? If so, say, "I do."
3. And will you endeavor to keep your child under the ministry and guidance of the Church until he or she, by the power of God, shall accept for himself or herself the gift of salvation and become a full and responsible member of Christ's Holy Church? If so, say, "I will."
Friends, our current church staff driven model is not working. A recent survey of several hundred committed church going teenagers done by the Fuller Institute showed that up to 50% percent of them either put their faith on the shelf or permanently walked away from it during their college years. Prior research has yielded similar results.
Consider this: in one year the average youth here at RUMC has the opportunity to attend 52 worship services and roughly 40 Sunday school classes and youth group nights. With 80% participation that comes out to just 2 hours a week. Two hours…if a family spends 15-30 minutes a day praying and doing devotions they have just matched that amount of time, not taking into account the many hours of possible informal faith sharing parents can have with their children. The Vision of our Christian Education ministries is to nurture and grow Disciples of Christ through lifelong discovery of the bible. I am telling you now, if it's just up to your church staff, we will fall short of this vision…
At this point you might be asking yourself "Chad are you saying it's entirely up to me to make sure my child becomes a follower of Christ? Are you saying I have to be resident pastor, biblical scholar, and theologian?"
The answer is no, I am not saying that. What I am saying is that the faith formation of children and youth is like a puzzle, and parents you are the most crucial pieces.
Study after study has shown that parents are consistently the most influential presence in young people's lives, not friends, not the media, and certainly not the pastor and church staff.
I know that can be a scary thought parents, and that often times we don't feel qualified, but consider this…If you decided that your family needed to be healthier you wouldn't wait until you have trained for and completed a marathon before doing things as a family to be healthier, right? In the same way you don't need to wait until you feel that you have become a spiritual giant (which will never happen…) to begin sharing the Christian faith with your child…
Start by consistently praying and having devotional time with your children. Don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work to do it every day but commit to do it when it does work…find a pattern and be consistent. Also, consider finding ways to do Christian service as a family. Be greeters at church or maybe find a food pantry to distribute meals at. Try to find a service opportunity that your children will be interested in.
Next, show your children how your faith is a part of your everyday life outside of formal devotional times (even if it's in small ways). Let them catch you reading the bible or praying. Share with them about how you experienced God during the day and ask them to do the same. Find a way to serve at the church and talk to your children about why you volunteer.
At this point we may need to be reminded of the work of the Holy Spirit. We must remember that we plant the seeds, but it is God who makes them grow. So, PRAY FOR YOUR CHILD'S FAITH DEVELOPMENT. Ask that the Holy Spirit would fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle.
And finally, realize that this idea about children's and youth discipleship does not diminish the role that the other staff and I have, it makes it more effective. We are additional pieces of the puzzle and we are faithfully, diligently and prayerfully trying to fill that role as God intends us to, now more than ever.
So…Whenever it's feasibly possible BRING YOUR CHILD TO CHURCH ACTIVITIES!!! My lovely wife was forced to go to youth group when she was in high school (yes you can make you high school student do things…try threatening to take away their cell phone), and now she is grateful they did. I am not saying that your child can't be involved in activities that conflict with Wednesday night activities, I'm saying that the various church activities have to be a priority, and your children have to know it's a priority. Make no mistake, your family's priorities will determine what your family does with its time.
And parents, please, please realize that the staff of this church is here to help you. If you have questions about how to be a spiritual mentor to your children don't be afraid to ask us for help!
At this point I must say one more thing about this passage. The Shema was originally recited to the entire nation of Israel. The idea that it takes a village to raise a child was implied. And so, before all of you who are not parents of children and youth completely check out, I need you to do something for me. All of you who are not parents if possible please stand up, or if not raise your hand. Now sit down if you are a grandparent, aunt or uncle, cousin, neighbor, older sibling or if you are a member or regular attendee of this church.
Now you may be wondering why I mentioned members and regular attendees…let's take a look at the rest of the infant baptismal vows.
After naming and baptizing the child/ren in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the pastor then says to the church:
(Slide) Friends, I commend to your love and care this child, whom we this day recognize as a member of the Family of God. Will you endeavor to live that he or she might grow in the knowledge and love of God, through Jesus Christ?
WE WILL, WITH GOD'S HELP, SO LIVE OUR LIVES AFTER THE EXAMPLE OF JESUS CHRIST THAT YOUR CHILD, SURROUNDED BY STEADFAST LOVE, MAY BE ESTABLISHED IN THE FAITH, AND CONFIRMED AND STRENGTHENED IN THE WAY THAT LEADS TO LIFE ETERNAL.
Remember the number 5. A study has shown that this is the number of Christian mentors a child needs in their life to have the best chance of becoming a lifelong follower of Christ. Ideally two of those adults will be parents. Certainly for many students Michael Walden or I will be one of the five. But understand this, for every child who walks through these church doors to have 5 Christian role models in their lives everyone here today has to in take seriously the responsibility to be one of those role models for one of those children. It may be that for you the best way to fill that role is to volunteer in the children's or youth ministries (It's August, you know I all about new volunteers). But it may very well be that you can successfully fill this role by informally connecting with young people from RUMC.
(slide) So, as this service comes to a close, keeping in mind the infant baptismal vows, will each of you embrace your role in the discipleship of the young people of this church? Will those of you who are parents of children and youth take seriously your role in the faith development for your children? And for those of you who are not parents of children and youth, will you endeavor to be a role model for the children you encounter? If so, say I will (congregation responds)
Amen! Please join me in prayer.
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