Wives AND Husbands submit to one another...

Spirit-Guided Relationships: Wives and Husbands

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.[b]27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

When Laura and I married on June 18, 2005 we decided that we wanted to have a foot washing as part of the event.  I was still in my "whizkid" stage, reveling in upsetting the equilibrium of our theologically conservative friends and family.  For this reason I was dead set on the idea that I would wash Laura's feet, and not the other way around.

Despite my immature bravado, nearly 10 years later, I think I was really on to something.  I still believe that many Christians are confused about what Ephesians 5 is actually saying to husbands.  What follows is something I wrote, and the pastor read during our wedding ceremony.  My general attitude has changed over the last 9 1/2 years, but these words still resonate in my heart. 

"Very few of us have trouble understanding the concept of wives serving their husbands.  Often times though, we are confused about what it means for a husband to be the head of a household.  This passage radically changes our understanding of what a husbands authority really entails.  By comparing a husband's relationship with his wife to Jesus' relationship with the church, all ideas of domination and entitlement are removed.  All authority in Heaven and earth were at Jesus' disposal, yet it was manifested on his knees.  The Master humbled himself and became the servant by washing his followers feet.  This is the example husbands are commanded to follow and  that is why this event (my washing of Laura's feet) has just taken place." I fail daily at this, but the spirit of these words still resonated in my brain, and weighs on my heart.  I have striven, am striving, and will continue to strive to leave my sense of entitlement at the door.  This has been a great reminder over the past month or so as I attempt to support Laura during a difficult time - attempting to check my selfishness, and frustrations.