It’s a phone conversation that every veteran
youth worker has had on multiple occasions.
The players change but the story always stays the same. I had on the other line an upset parent who had
some serious concerns about their soon to be teenage child. It was not directly said, but there was an
implied undertone, a hope that I would be able to step in and do something to
remedy the situation. Now, I have to
confess that my normal course of action would have been to swoop in like
superman and try to fix things in an hour or two…I bet you can guess what kind
of success rate I’ve had with that approach…
But instead, in a moment of
uncharacteristic Godly wisdom, I took a different approach. I asked this parent about Christian practices
in the home. During this conversation I
learned that though this parent, and their spouse were actively involved in the
church's children's ministries, little or nothing was being done in their home
throughout the week to reinforce their family's walk with God. I couldn’t help but think that this fact
played some role in the struggles they were having with their child, and I told
them so. I think that many parents would tell the same story if asked.
1.
By explaining that the
current church staff driven model is not working. We can share that the surveys
show that up to half of our students will “shelve their faith” in college. We
can state that the average youth in our programs will only have roughly 2 hours
a week with us and that is shared with all the other students present. We can
tell parents that if they 15-30 minutes a day praying and doing devotions as a
family then they have just matched that amount of time, not taking into account
the many hours of possible informal faith sharing parents can have with their
children.
2.
By giving them
practical suggestions. Encourage parents
to consistently pray and have devotional time with your children. Make sure
they don't beat themselves up if it doesn't work to do it every day but tell
them to commit to do it when it does work by finding a pattern. Inform parents that it is just as important
to show their children how their faith is a part of their everyday life (even
if it's in small ways). Sugguest letting students catch them reading the bible,
and share with their children about how they experienced God during the day and
ask them to do the same.
3.
Reassure parents that
this idea about children's and youth discipleship does not diminish the role
that that the church’s youth group has, it makes it more effective. Plead with
parents that whenever it's feasibly possible BRING THEIR CHILD TO CHURCH
ACTIVITIES!!! State that you are not saying that their child can't be involved
in activities that conflict with youth group night activities, but be clear that
the various church activities have to be a priority, and your children have to
know it's a priority. Challenge parents
that their family priorities will impact what they do with their time.
4.
Finally, identify
parents who already understand and live out “the Shema initiative” and task
them with helping to spread the vision to others.
Attempting
to engage parents can be a frustrating process but it is well worth the
effort. If youth workers are serious
about making life long disciples than they must be serious about engaging parents
into the process of discipling their children.
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