Our Genealogy
Defending the traditional family is a major goal for many Christian
churches and their congregants. But
Garland points out that today’s view of the traditional family hasn’t been
“traditional” for all that long. She
states: “The structure of the
‘traditional family’ – breadwinning father and homemaker mother and their
dependent children- has not been the historical reality for more than 5% of the
history of Christianity” (Garland 40). Holding on to what we know and seeing it as
the “only way” seems to be a Christian phenomenon.
Throughout human history economic factors have shaped what family
structure looks like. That remains true
today (Garland 40). I am struck by
Garland’s description of the family as consumer. The challenge of providing the income the
family needs to “pay the bills” has huge implications on the family, especially
children. Garland points out: “Family
members remain isolated from each other in their work and school activities –
the vast majority of their time – and share only in periodic leisure pursuits” (
Garland 35). This isolation leaves young
people in the family feeling lost as they navigate through life without the presence
of adult family (Clark 34-35).
Perhaps if the church understands that economic need is a driving force
behind many of the changes taking place within the family it will be less
threatened by them. Our perspective
changes when we realize that mothers are working not because they are
nontraditional, but rather, because they believe they have to in order to provide
for their family changes perspective.
It allows the church to become less entrenched and to minister to the
family in its current context.
The American Family
Today
Today family is defined both
structurally – based on biological and legal relation – and functionally – the
way individuals relate to one another (Garland 53). A structural understanding of family limits
family to blood and legal relatives, regardless of whether or not they play a
role in an individual’s life. A
functional understanding allows for family to be based upon whether or not an
individual is filling familial roles.
Garland defines the function of family as “the organization of
relationships that endure over time and contexts, through which persons attempt
to meet their needs for belonging and attachment and to share life purposes,
help and resources” (Garland 56)
These are needs that individuals
have always sought from their families.
The changes in the family structure have made it increasingly difficult
for these needs to be meet by a structural family. Individuals are increasingly choosing to
define families in terms of function to get needs met. This creates a great opportunity for the
church. By defining family in terms of
function this allows the church and its congregants to fill one or more of the
family functions in an individual’s life.
Within my ministry context at
Rockford United Methodist Church meeting needs for attachment and belonging is
the most vital family function for us to address. I believe that belonging is the single
greatest need that individuals have today.
Individuals today are looking to belong.
Addressing ones belief systems is all but impossible if he or she does
not feel a sense of belonging (Wittmer
99-100). For this reason, I
contest that meeting the need for attachment and belonging is an absolute
imperative if Rockford United Methodist Church is going to be “the home” of an
individual.
Garland, D. R. (2012). Family Ministry: A comprehensive
guide (2nd ed.). Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press.
Clark, C.
(2011). Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of
Today’s Teenagers (2nd ed.).
Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Academic.
Wittmer,
M.E. (2008). Don’t Stop Believing. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan.
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