Christianity as Counter Culture

"The church exists today as resident aliens, an adventurous colony in a society of unbelief."¹ The western church is so quick to dig its heals in and fight the "barbarian" way of life. Yet it so easily accepts "civilized" culture which may indeed be every bit as un-Christian. To be more direct, there are many American principles and beliefs that are un-Christian. Similarly, there are many Christian principles that are truly un-American.

Specifically, there are an increased number of individuals who are approaching church from a consumerist perspective. I hear phrases like "What I need from a Church..." and "When I was Church shopping..." These phrases come from well intentioned people who love God, are devoted to service and to the church. They just don't realize what they are doing. The reality is they are comparing God's church to a pair of jeans. In my church individuals are also consumeristic with their attendance. If our senior pastor is on vacation then many congregants opt to miss church. So then, for these individuals worship is about hearing a phenomenal message from the pastor, instead of a mediocre message from that other person, which frequently just so happens to be me. It appears then, that when the church accepts western culture's consumerism, the church is in danger of being reduced to nothing more than a glorified support group or country club.

Another cultural practice that has infested the church, especially among youth is to ridicule those different from the "norm." I have seen Jr. High boys driven to tears during Sunday school because they were being verbally bullied by their peers. Once, a mother came to see me with concerns about her Jr. High daughter refusing to return to youth group because some girls, who she thought were her friends were texting mean comments to her during youth group. My father believes that a major reason for turning away from God during his early twenties was because of the way his church peers treated him while he was school aged.

I use these examples to illustrate the point that youth ministry may call young people to live counter culturally. For instance, sound teaching about Godly generosity and service will conflict with the consumeristic message young people are hearing from media, peers and perhaps even their parents. Additionally, the Christian call to love the "unlovable" is a very different message from what kids learn through the social complexities tied to fitting in at school. This call to live counter culturally may also allow young people to be a part of social reform.  I can't help but think that the American church and its youth could be a part of causing a drastic decline in abortion without any help from Capitol Hill.

Rodney Clapp states in his book A Peculiar People, that he believes the church's blind acceptance of cultural norms as "Christian" originated when Constantine made Christianity the official religion of Rome.  He claims that to break away from this "Constantinian Christianity" the church must begin to see evangelism not as delivering a message but as an invitation into a world changing community. This means that Christians must begin to see evangelism as a corporate matter as opposed to an individualistic one.²

1. Stanley Hauerwas and William H. Willimon, Resident Aliens: Life in the Christian Colony (Nashville: Abingdon Press, 1989) pp. 49.
2. Rodney Clapp, A Peculiar People (Downers Grove, Illinois: InterVarsity Press, 1996) pp. 167-168.

Parent Empowering Youth Ministry

There was a time when many youth workers thought they had to be an advocate for students amidst the tyranny of their parents and other non-understanding adults.  It is true that parents do occasionally fail their children in terrible ways ranging from unchristian advice and example to heinous and illegal abuse.  Still, if we youth workers our humble and honest we have to admit that most of our disagreements with parents are a matter of personal opinion and preference.  If we want to effectively empower parents we have to push aside our opinions and, whenever possible, honor parents and their wishes.  We will not have a youth group that honors and obeys their parents if we as youth workers are not setting the tone by making a point to also honor them. 

Honor Parents and Their Wishes

One small thing that I regularly do to honor parents is “kick out” students at the end of the night when their parent comes to take them home.  We’ve all seen it a million times, haven’t we?  A mother or father tells their child that it is time to go home and he or she is talking to friends, shooting hoops or in the middle of some crazy youth group game.  They are having fun and they don’t want to leave.  So what do they say?  “Just a minute.”  I know this bothers parents and it should also bother youth workers.  So here is what I do, I fly into the seen in cool youth worker fashion grabbing the ball, obnoxiously interrupting the conversation and screaming “honor your parents!  They said that its time to go home!”  I know this is a small thing, but it sets precedence.  It tells parents that I am on their side and it gets me in the practice of being the parents advocate when bigger issues arise. 

As I was working on this piece I sought ideas and prospective from parents about this topic using social media.  It was through this “research” that I heard a truly appalling story about a youth worker failing to honor parents.  A parent sent me a personal message sharing that they and their spouse were strongly opposed to “missionary dating” and were unhappy when their teenage child began dating a non-Christian.  My three children may still be young, but I understand and agree with these parents’ stance.  Beyond my personal feelings about their position, it is a biblically sound principle.  This worker, however, did not feel the same way about the situation.  They believed that the parents were anti-evangelism and in the name of evangelism encouraged the child to continue dating the student.  While it is true that the unbeliever was attending youth group while they were dating the youth group student, it still does not justify blatantly undermining the parents.  I am convinced that there was a way to align with the parents’ stance and still continue to encourage the evangelism of an un-churched student.

Empower Parents, Don’t Save Them

The opposite and equally destructive response to undermining parents is trying to “bail them out” whenever they encounter a tough situation involving their child.  Anyone who has been in youth ministry for a while has undoubtedly gotten that phone call from a distressed parent who’s just realized that their “little saint” isn’t so saintly after all.  If you are like me, you will be inclined to try to swoop in and fix things.  Not only is this painfully ineffective, it sends a dangerous message about the roles parents and youth workers play in the faith formation of young people.  Do we really want to send the message to parents and the church at large that a parent’s role is to identify the problem and that the youth worker’s role is to fix it?  Instead, we need to send the message that parents are best equipped to play a primary role in their child’s faith formation and in working through struggles their children are having.  After all, God did choose them to be the parents of this teenager so instead trying to save them, let’s try to equip and empower them instead (For more on this idea see this related blog post:http://shemainitiative.blogspot.com/2012/12/the-shema-initiative-engaging-parents.html)

Equip Parents with Resources

One of the ways that we can empower parents is to connect them with resources that will help them better understand their teenage child.  Youth workers are masters of spotting helpful resources, Christian or otherwise, that create a better understanding of young people.  It really is as simple as passing these newly found resources on to parents.  Great examples include Fuller Youth Institute’s Sticky Faith web site and other resources (http://stickyfaith.org) and Walt Mueller’s Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (http://www.cpyu.org). 

Being the number one supporter of parents will not only win their support, it is a biblical and effective way to usher teenagers into a lifelong relationship with Christ.  History has shown just how ineffective “lone gun” youth ministry is.  If we care about the faith formation of the young people entrusted to us then we truly must be serious about creating a parent empowering youth ministry.  Do we want to empower our students to be lifelong disciples of Jesus?  If so, we better get serious about empowering parents.  

Why I Don't Want a Smart Phone

Last night I watched my wonderful wife, a women who just six months ago "never checked her facebook page," spend a substantial amount of time surfing facebook pages while complaining about how crappy the touch screen was.  It was at this time that I realized something; I never want a smart phone.  My reason for not wanting one are twofold:

1) I already waste too much time fiddling with social network sites.  I have no doubt that I would that guy spending hours a day on facebook and twitter (heck I might actually take the time to figure out pinterist...)

2) Finding the balance between being in full time ministry and being the husband and father God has called me to be is already a constant struggle.  Saying no to ministry is already hard, the last thing I need is limitless access to my work e-mail.  My inability to let a call go to voicemail is already a source of frustration for my wife.  I know she wouldn't want me to run to my phone very time I received an e-mail notification.

Please don't think that I am putting down my wife.  I am not necessarily even making fun of network marketing or smart phones.  My wife has a smart phone because both she and I are considering masters degrees and previously we had no internet at home (shocking I know).  We figured using a smart phone as a hot spot might make us less enslaved to technology and media (I don't want a cable package...sorry!).  It boils down to this, I don't want to embody the things about our culture that I find sad or annoying.