I am currently staying onsite at a Christian college campus in order to take a week long onsite seminary course. Since God has a wonderful sense of humor, a huge denominational youth gathering is also happening on campus this week. This morning I had breakfast with a table of high school students and adult leaders.
I took this opportunity to do some eavesdropping and the two male adult leaders (in their 40's) each said something to a male student that really disappointed me:
1) One male student was telling a story about how he (wrongly) thought they were supposed to tip a parking attendant at an event. Like a typical male adolescent he concluded his story by mentioning that the parking attendant was cute. One male leader ran with the theme and said "you just wanted to tip her because she was cute." And I thought "and your telling this young man that the value of this young woman is defined by how she physically looks."
2) Shortly after this incident another young man said hello to a young women, who looked like she would have been 25...(that's another issue-curse you artificial light and your supposed effect on the maturation of adolescent females). The adult leaders quickly ran with the idea that he was "talking to another girl." He apparently has a girlfriend. Apparently, flirting with other women (or falsely accusing someone of it) is a laughing matter...
Here's the thing, these are "little things," but the little things add up. So the question is, what are we saying (or not saying) to young men about the way they interact. Is OK to flirt with girls while you have a girlfriend (or to flippantly falsely accuse someone of doing so) as long as you are young? Is it OK to determine the way you treat someone of the opposite gender based on whether or not they our cute/attractive? What are we telling young people about the opposite gender and what will it mean as they enter early adulthood?
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